Here are links to the other articles in the series:

http://www.stippy.com/japan-life/getting-pregnant-in-japan-1/
http://www.stippy.com/japan-life/getting-pregnant-in-japan-2/
http://www.stippy.com/japan-life/getting-pregnant-in-japan-3/
http://www.stippy.com/japan-life/getting-pregnant-in-japan-4/
http://www.stippy.com/japan-life/getting-pregnant-in-japan-5/
http://www.stippy.com/japan-life/getting-pregnant-in-japan-6/

and keep those weird and wonderful stories coming through in the
comments section!!!

I just met our local obi-gyn today, the man who will be delivering our baby, and he straightforwardly offered me a place in the delivery room. I didn’t even ask to participate because I figured I’d be shut out. I think my wife told him I’d delivered foals and goats in the US when I was a kid.

At any rate, for anyone who feels left out of the process and resents it, I can recommend an obi-gyn who is accepting of male participation in childbirth between Funabashi and Makuhari.

And a big amen to the water aversion! I’ve been here two years now and can’t believe the ignorance about hydration. All my coworkers think I’m absolutely insane for keeping a water bottle on my desk, even during summer. And every gaijin has the shock of the thimble cup sized water glasses from their first meal in Japan. I always ask for a pitcher which they often refuse but they usually crack after filling my glass ten times. (^_^)

Papa, would love to hear more. Lay it out.

Back home I was very involved with the birth and enjoyed the excitement, thuogh we had a complicated delivery, which was extremely scary it was great to be part of the rollercoaster ride.

In Japan, our second child was born in the sanfijinka down the street and the process was very detached. I really had little to do with it but then again, I was busier and life was different. Also I was looking after the first child. However, unlike Papa above, I was allowed to enter the doctors rooms when we had our early stage scans.

What struck me about the doc was that he was a crusty old guy who, like most other Japanese doctors, was hardly emotive and reassuring. He certainly did not help ease any tension like our doctors did back home. He just got down, put the camera in and did the explanation. In and out in 3-4 minutes. Back home we had a midwife who really took pains to have us enjoy and get an education from the experience.

What to buy. Take cues from your wife’s friends who have young kids. We read too much on what we “needed” and ended up with a lot of extra crap. A chain store called “Akachan Honpo” is real good.

Eat well. Fortunately Japanese food is pretty healthy. Mother-in-law’s are great help in this area.

Water/Liquids. Japanese seem to have this funky aversion to plain water, like it’s not as good as juice or tea. Have her drink lots of water in addition to normal drinks, as it’s, duh, the best way to keep hydrated.

As a hubby you don’t have to worry about anything until they come home from the hospital/clinic. Follow along, go to all the visits together that you can, but let the system take it’s course. They got it all wired for zero husband participation - you being involved is just icing on the cake.

Fortunately Japanese dads are getting more involved in pre-natal times, so check with the clinic or hospital about that. I had no problem looking at the ultra-sounds, or being in on Q&A sessions. In fact the clinic we went to actually invited me in without me asking.

Gaijin Papa’s most important job. Keep your wife happy. You thought she could be bad while on the rag. She’s going to be a bundle of emotions. From sunshine happy to pissed off to moody to crying - occasionally all at the same time. Expect this to happen and that it’s just the process, not you - so don’t take it personally. Be loving, understanding, patient and supportive in spite of the fact that she’s being a whiny demanding bitch. She’ll love you for it.

Let your wife do stuff. Be supportive, but don’t over-dote. Japanese society is great for being active with proper servings of fresh air and exercise built right in. Let her walk to the store for some milk. It’s good for her mental well-being and body too. You’ll know when it’s time to start taking it easy a little more. Heck, I hear those pre-natal pool exercise classes are good too.

Midwives are very prevalent here to do deliveries. We had our kids at a big hospital too. Doctors are on-hand in case there are any complications, but do not be surprised if the person delivering your kid will be a midwife. Great experience too, btw.

I wasn’t allowed in the delivery room, but I was ok with that. I think they’re worried about you passing out.

They have this saying like after giving birth ‘don’t touch water’ for the first month or something. A good majority of Japanese wives will go back to their parents place for awhile. Mostly to let mother-in-law do all the work and teach how to care for the baby. This normally doesn’t include you unless you’re taking them there. If you don’t like that idea, you might consider making room for her mom to come stay for a week or two. Trust me, it helps - a lot. Not only for the cooking/cleaning help, but also for the moral support and experience. Every little cry or weird movement from the baby seems like an emergency to a new mother/father. Mom’s there to tell you “it’s ok”. Listen, she knows what she’s talking about.