Japan: Stippy » Sexless article followup: we need your help to interview a Japanese “sexless counselor”

We need your help - what do you need to know to help your sexless marriage?

Although it seems to be sex that sells in the rest of the world, unfortunately in the jaded world of gaijin’s married to Japanese it is sexlessness that sells. To commemorate the fact that our most popular article on stippy.com the truth behind “Sexless Japan” has received a whopping 500+ comments and more traffic than any other article we have written, we’ve decided to research for a follow-up article – and we need your help to make it an insightful one!

The continued traffic that we get to that article is proof alone that there is a significantly large % of the married gaijin community that are suffering from sexless marriages. Worse yet, there are no obvious places to go. It isn’t the norm for Japanese couples to get counseling and there isn’t a harder topic to bring up with your loved one than a debate about who should be putting out more and why. If you haven’t read through the entire thread then we really strongly recommend taking the time out to see the comments, questions and advice that our readers have left on this topic. Even if you’re not married yet. Maybe even more so if you’re not married!!

In a Japanese world that shuns upon dumping your feelings and worries on an outside party, we were pretty stoked when we came across a pre-marital counselor in Tokyo. But to be honest, while they are great at helping avoid a sexless relationship before it begins they are not much help in bridging the ever expanding gap in an already sexless marriage. This time we’ve gone one step further and tracked down a local marriage/sex counselor. She (yes! she) is Japanese but foreign educated and – get this – specializes in sexless marriages!! We are pretty excited.

We’ll be holding, and writing about an interview with her in the upcoming weeks but wanted to share the opportunity for input with our readers. After all it has been the to the heart comments that have made that article such a key page for sexless gaijin husbands on the internet. While we can’t promise to get all of your questions answered, if you can leave us a comment on this article before next Wednesday (June 16) then we will do our best to get her thoughts, comments, and maybe some answers about your situation, on your behalf! Lets just make that stick out a bit more, cause there is not much time…

Next Wednesday (June 16) is the interview. Please comment well before then, so we can ask her your interesting questions!

Sexless Japan

For the sake of continuity, please keep general thoughts and discussion about being sexless to the original article. Just leave us your questions here. Thanks to you all and hopefully we can hit a home run on behalf of all of the sex depraved married gaijins out there.

In case you hadn’t noticed, the situation isn’t getting any better in Japan. Earlier this month a Japanese company called “LC Love Cosmetics” (エルシーラブコスメティックス) released the depressing results of their survey of 500 Japanese women aged between 18-40. 47% of respondents felt that their marriage was sexless. ouch. Of those that were having sex they complained of everything from pain (itai, itai..), lack of petting through to premature ejaculation. What might surprise readers is that of the wives who complained of sexlessness, a whopping 40% of them claimed that they had tried to fix the problem by inviting their hubbies to bed. Oh, and 44% of those hubbies supposedly said no while another 20% “reluctantly” agreed! That is a pretty surprising result consider the data set that we have amongst our readers on stippy.com so trying to rectify the difference will be a big point in our upcoming interview. 12% of respondents were perhaps a little more honest when they admitted that they weren’t really troubled by the fact that they were sexless. LC claims that of those surveyed, those with a successful love life (who knows what the definition of that is though!) credited it to a good ability to communicate and a willingness by both sides to address issues like this. Have you tried to discuss it with your partner? It would be great to hear some real examples of how you tried… and then failed… so that we can take our interview with the counselor a step further than “you just don’t talk about it enough”.

Hurry, only a few days left before the interview with our stippy sexless counselor! Leave your questions for her in the comments below!